Jokes (1)

                        

  

1. Dad         : “You usually talk a lot on the phone. Why did you only talk half an hour?”
     Daughter :“It was a wrong number!”

2. “Joey, can you come out and play?”
    “No. I have to help my dad do my homework.”


3. What is the longest word in English?
     SMILES. There’s a mile  between each “S"

4. An ex minister in new era was died. So he has to meet the angel’s judge.
    The angel: Are you a minister in new era?
    The man: Yes, I am.
    The angel: Are you a corrupter?
    The man: No, I am not.
    The angel: Well, you must enter to the hell.
    The man: Why I must enter the hell?
    The angel: You enter the hell not because you are a corrupter, but you didn’t follow your                         leader to be a  corrupter...


5. Budi : God, may i ask you some questions?
   God : Yes my son, ask me whatever you want to know.
   Budi : How long is 1000 years for you?
   God : For me, 1000 years is just like 5 minutes.
   Budi : Really? Then how much is 1.000.000 dollars for you?
   God : For me, 1.000.000 dollars is just like 5 cents
   Budi : What? Then, could you please give me 5 cents?
   God : OK my son, just wait 5 minutes.


6. One day, my aunties are talking, suddenly, my uncle brought something like mobile phone. He said     “There's a call from your husband. He wants to talk with you! “So, my auntie took the mobile phone as quick as possible and started to talk. She said “hello?hello?hello?” Why is my husband  not talking? She looks awkward at the time.
     Then   my uncle and all of my aunties laughed. My auntie is not talking using a mobile phone, but       an AC remote  controller!   So, my auntie said “Damn you!! “ to my uncle.


7.  There is a 17 years old child. One day that child asked  her mother.
     Child  : Mom, can I use a bra?
     Mom  : No, you can’t.
     Child  : Mom, can i use a stocking?
     Mom  : No, you can’t.
     Child  : Mom, can i use a miniskirt?
     Mom  : No, you can’t Budi. You’re male.


8. A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said : “ That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In   a huff, the  woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated asked her what was wrong.

“The bus driver insulted me,”she fumed

The man sympathized and said “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”

“You are right,” she said. “I think I will go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea.” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey”


9. Student : Ma'am , can you spell MATHEMATIC ?
   Teacher : Yes , of course . Its m-a-t-h-e-m-a-t-i-c
   Student : No ma'am , you wrong .
   Teacher : Why ?
   Student : Because its not the answer
   Teacher : So, what is the answer?
   Student : The spelling of MATHEMATIC is K-I-L-L-M-E-N-O-W !

[Taken from many sources]